Every turn that any person take in Life is a gateway to a wonderful, painful, learning lesson of a Journey to lead you to where you are supposed to be. The individual is truly the gatekeeper of how they persevere through the tumbles of this washer machine called Earth with a side of Life.
Many moons ago, I knew a girl who wanted everything. Everything from money, fashion, friends, status, luxuries, (Fame) if it fell well into place, happiness, security, peace, easiness, and the dreaded LOVE. She wanted EVERYTHING and she wanted it quick and easy and right away. The concept of waiting your turn was like sticking thousands of needles into her skin. Why!? Why should she wait, when she sees everyone around her getting the things that she wants... Why!? Why should she wait her turn to be older, smarter, and matured to receive what she sees everyone around her getting the things that she wants...
LOVE, yes all received it, flourished in it, basked in it, with pure grace and big smiles on their faces. HAPPINESS, yes all received it, as they went through life with no worries. PEACE, she witnessed how all came so easy to others with no strain. MONEY, although she never had to really want for anything she saw those who relished in the joy of spending as they pleased. FRIENDS, ah yes, a gaggle of people, male and female, who she saw had a crew to chill with that seemed to love them (ring leader or disciple). STATUS, as she got older and ventured in the workforce, she saw how those who can do anything, say anything all because they had the status to do so.
But, what she didn't know was what they went through to achieve those labels. And are they happy, truly happy, living with those labels. That little girl that I knew was smart. She was smart enough to know in her stages of growing up to sit and observed what life had to offer and her surroundings. She saw a lot and learned a lot. And in those lessons she saw little by little, days, months, years all the labels that she saw being held by others were just that labels. They weren't meaningful. She saw that those were people living with chains. Being shackled to an idealism that were preached and offer over the Earth. Yes, its nice to have that, she told me, but it's sweeter to have LOVE. True Love from a person. True Love from people who also did not believe in living in shackles. I thought to myself, Smart Girl. Who's her gatekeeper?
One day that little girl came back to me. But, this time, as time went on, years went by, that girl is now a young woman. And this young woman, had a different look her eyes. A different demeanor in her mannerism. But, what I loved seeing the most when I stared in her eyes, was the vision of that little girl. Tucked away, tucked away for protection to handle the elements on Earth with a side of Life. As we began to talked, she mentioned to me the things she saw; and the hurt she had experienced. The words fell from her mouth with ease like a book being read to me. But, what truly painted the picture of her changed demeanor was the huge lost that she endured. Although way back when that little girl coveted so many things. What she didn't realize then, was that she had all those labels in that one LOVE that she lost. She began to tell me the story of the many twists and turns that was taken during that time. As I sat and listened, my heart started to feel heavy for her. I remembered how bright and shining that little girl was. So full of vibrancy, so full of Life. It was truly a touching moment that I experienced with her. As I listened, I saw right before my eyes that little girl grow. Still sweet and scared like a child should be, started out to be, but growing. Truly a touching moment.
As the day was coming close to an end, so was our conversation. And as we began to part ways I started to think about her story. I realized that I was walking away from me. I, the woman (not quite yet) was saying goodbye to little "Me". With a feeling of Peace, Security, Happiness, and most importantly LOVE. All along my gatekeeper made sure I Persevered.
;)
A fragrance that lingers on for awhile, maybe even for years. A sweet smell that brings familiar pictures to mind. A daydream so long that you don't want to return to reality, for its better here. This place where no harm can dismay you. Its a beautiful memory. A memory that can be a person, place, or a thing. But, when its all three, erotica. The feeling you get in your gut that you cannot shake because it feels so good. You want to deny it with all your being, but can't. The erotic memory seems to linger in your head throughout the day. You distract your mind just long enough to get some work done. Concentrate on the day, the actual day, where you hear people, see people, touch people. People that you have absolutely no desire to entertain but hey, its the actual day. And then it happens, that brief moment of peace, where your mind just have to sneak away and escape. Your face lights up, a smile begins to grow, heart starts to stir as you're memory begins again. You remember a warm afternoon in a backyard where the two of you sits. Just wanting to be together, next to each other, physically. Its like watching a beautiful colorful butterfly fly about; gazing bashfully. Eyes, lips, skin, arms, legs, fingers intertwine with each other. Words are spoken, but makes no sense. All because you're engaged in the physical. Its the most erotic feeling ever, where you can stare at the person who sends you to many different places all at once. Take you on a ride that you just don't want to stop. High and low, round and round, toss and tumble; sitting side by side each other. Could you imagine how intense the next level of seduction would be? Sensual and sweet like a sweet fragrance that lingers in the air. A sweet fragrance that you love. A sweet fragrance that takes your breath away; and all you want is to have that smell stay with you for hours on end. Ugh, how I wish that memory can manifest to reality, this reality, in this presence. A do over, a take two; and this time let the moment linger. Linger until climax and revisited again. With no expectations at all.
Lying Once Violated & Exploited - LOVE.... That is the true meaning of this ugly word when it is used in the wrong context. An emotion that is thrown around with people and by people who have no clue of its TRUE value. Love should be only used and felt with family only, yes family. Not friends or strangers that comes into your life and made you feel some what at home in your heart. That's your weak nature now call these non-blood related individuals FAMILY. Nah, hell no. Now if you were born with the unsettling luck of destructive blood members of family - my deepest and sincere apology. Not everyone is lucky to have a good member in their immediate family. BUT! somewhere down the heritage line someone fits the bill of truly having a good heart. Yet again I still must say, Fuck Love. The loose term that is used today and in the past between men and women means absolutely SHIT! Mothers', now there is where love lives. True, Good Mothers who bore their children and stood by them and cared for them until their death. That is Love. That nonsense that is said between the opposite sex should be changed to - "Lets be in a Deal" with each other. Not, "Lets Be In Love" with each other. Bullshit! The only real reason a stranger wants to be you is to keep themselves busy until the next journey in their life comes along. They're Bored! They need an activity to pass the time. Once their true heart desire of an opportunity pops up, its adios to you, Thanks for letting me use and abuse your body, I'm out. Besides being born into motherhood, where your heart is magically given up to your child, People true hearts desire is themselves. And rightfully so. Why Not!? Friends and member of the opposite sex are foot soldiers of the devil. The are set on earth to destroy good kindhearted people. And those little weak bitches start early on in someones life. Detest that coming of age, all ever present, adolescent puberty of becoming a man and/or women. Its not all that jolly, fun, fun, joy, joy emotion that is pass down in stories from older folks who have went through it. Its complete and utter bullshit. Yeah, just find that random person that you been working on or working with, have the deed done and leave them. There is no need to stick around and think all of sudden that you are in love because you are not; and so are they. Its a business arrangement that needs to take place and once completed toss that human being to the side like a bag of garbage. For that is what is going to be done to you if you don't move first. And even if you don't, because you got caught up. Oh well, life goes on. Living is what you can do for yourself and your blood relatives that deserve you. Others, who gives a fuck about them. Cause I'm certain they do not give a fuck about you, at all. Love - Lying Once Violated & Exploited, the true meaning of LOVE. Hate it with a passion. Always have and always will. I was right in making sure all were kept at a distance. But, I too, got caught up. Too many at that and the shit transition to get back to reality was time consuming and exhausting. I will never, ever, venture down that la di da road ever again. Why the fuck for!? For What!? For a piece of dick. Yeah right! When I'm thirsty I will buy one (human being) and when done toss them to the side a piece of shit garbage that they are. Goodnight!! Love - Get the Fuck Outta Here with that Bullshit!!
